It is well known that most young men today; as well as older men have lost (or never had nor learned) the art on how to be a true gentleman, especially among Millennial’s who have been overly influenced by social media, movies and television shows depicting young men behaving very uncouth in words and deeds, and believing such things as being “cool”. The popular term “Chivalry is dead”, came about because young men just do not know have to behave in society toward others with respect and courtesy. Young women, as well as older one’s have forgotten what it means to be treated as a lady, and unfortunately, many young and older woman really don’t know how a true “Lady” is supposed to behave due to the same backward influences of popular culture and music and rely on walking about half dressed, or wearing clothes that convey that they are less than their worth.
Gentlemen! Being classy does not mean expensive cars, lots of money and expensive clothes. It means having manners, being polite, and respecting people, even if you don’t particularly like them. Good manners make a Gentlemen Classy!
How to behave like a gentleman:
1) Always avoid any rude or boisterous action, especially when in the presence of ladies. It is not necessary to be stiff, indolent, or sullenly silent, neither is perfect gravity always required, but if you jest around, let it be with quiet, gentlemanly wit, never depending upon clownish gestures for the effect of a story. Nothing marks the gentleman so soon and decidedly as quiet, refined ease of manner.
2) Never allow a lady to get a chair for herself, ring a bell, pick up purse or gloves she may have dropped, or, in short, perform any service for herself which you can perform for her, when you are in the room. By extending such courtesies to your mother, sisters, or other members of your family, they become habitual, and are thus more gracefully performed when out in public.
3) It is not necessary to tell all that you know; that would be mere folly; but what a man says must be what he believes himself, else he violates the first rule for a gentleman’s speech—Truth.
4) Cultivate tact! In society it will be an invaluable aid. Talent is something, but tact is everything. Talent is serious, sober, grave, and respectable; tact is all that and more too. It is not a sixth sense, but it is the life of all the five. It is the open eye, the quick ear, the judging taste, the keen smell, and the lively touch; it is the interpreter of all riddles—the over comer of all difficulties—the remover of all obstacles. It is useful in all places, and at all times; it is useful in solitude, for it shows a man his way into the world; it is useful in society, for it shows him his way through the world. Talent is power—tact is skill; talent is weight—tact is momentum; talent knows what to do—tact knows how to do it; talent makes a man respectable—tact will make him respected; talent is wealth—tact is ready money. For all the practical purposes of society tact carries against talent ten to one.
5) Habits of self-possession and self-control are the best foundation for the formation of gentlemanly manners. If you unite with this the constant intercourse with ladies and gentlemen of refinement and education, you will add to the dignity of perfect self command, the polished ease of polite society.
6) Avoid pride, too; it often miscalculates, and more often misconceives. The proud man places himself at a distance from other men; seen through that distance, others, perhaps, appear little to him; but he forgets that this very distance causes him also to appear little to others.
7) When you meet a lady at the foot of a flight of stairs, do not wait for her to ascend, but bow, and go up before her. In meeting a lady at the head of a flight of stairs, wait for her to precede you in the descent. However you may also let a lady ascend first and proceed up behind her. The logic being, to catch her should she trip or stumble backwards
8) Gentility is neither in birth, wealth, or fashion, but in the mind. A high sense of honor, a determination never to take a mean advantage of another, adherence to truth, delicacy and politeness towards those with whom we hold intercourse, are the essential characteristics of a gentleman.
9) Perhaps the true definition of a gentleman is this: “Whoever is open, loyal, and true; whoever is of humane and affable demeanor; whoever is honorable in himself, and in his judgment of others, and requires no law but his word to make him fulfill an engagement; such a man is a gentleman, be he in the highest or lowest rank of life, a man of elegant refinement and intellect, or the most unpolished tiller of the ground.”
10) Courteous and friendly conduct may, probably will, sometimes meet with an unworthy and ungrateful return; but the absence of gratitude and similar courtesy on the part of the receiver cannot destroy the self-approbation which recompenses the giver. We may scatter the seeds of courtesy and kindness around us at little expense. Some of them will inevitably fall on good ground, and grow up into benevolence in the minds of others, and all of them will bear the fruit of happiness in the bosom whence they spring. A kindly action always fixes itself on the heart of the truly thoughtful and polite man.
11) Learn to restrain anger. A man in a passion ceases to be a gentleman, and if you do not control your passions, rely upon it; they will one day control you. The intoxication of anger, like that of the grape, shows us to others, but hides us from ourselves, and we injure our own cause in the opinion of the world when we too passionately and eagerly defend it. Neither will all men be disposed to view our quarrels in the same light that we do; and a man’s blindness to his own defects will ever increase in proportion as he is angry with others, or pleased with him. An old English writer says:
“As a preventative of anger, banish all tale-bearers and slanderers from your conversation, for it is these blow the devil’s bellows to rouse up the flames of rage and fury, by first abusing your ears, and then your credulity, and after that steal away your patience, and all this, perhaps, for a lie. To prevent anger, be not too inquisitive into the affairs of others, or what people say of yourself, or into the mistakes of your friends, for this is going out to gather sticks to kindle a fire to burn your own house.”
12) Keep good company or none. You will lose your own self-respect, and habits of courtesy sooner and more effectually by intercourse with low company, than in any other manner; while, in good company, these virtues will be cultivated and become habitual.
13) Be ready to apologize when you have committed a fault which gives offence. Better, far better, to retain a friend by a frank, courteous apology for offence given, than to make an enemy by obstinately denying or persisting in the fault.
14) An apology made to you must be accepted. No matter how great the offence, a gentleman cannot keep his anger after an apology has been made, and thus, amongst truly well-bred men, an apology is always accepted.
15) Have you a sister? Then love and cherish her with all that pure and holy friendship which renders a brother so worthy and noble.
16) Love yourself