With Thanksgiving just a week away, some of us will be obliged to dine in a social setting other than ones own home. How does a gentleman conduct himself at the dining table? What are the protocol’s for distinguishing oneself as a classy and proper gentleman of good taste? Well, here is a guide to help you shine like an “Elegant Classy Gentleman”. Whether in a restaurant, at someone’s home or a formal dinner party this guide will set you apart from the cavemen.

A Gentleman’s Etiquette Guide to Dining:

Many men at their own table have little peculiar notions, which a guest
does well to respect. Some will feel hurt, even offended, if you decline a
Dish which they recommend; while others expect you to eat enormously, as
If they feared you did not appreciate their hospitality unless you tasted
Every single dish on the table. Try to pay respect to such whims while sitting at the table of
Your host, but avoid having any such notions when presiding over your own table.

1) Whatever delicacies which may be upon the table, and which are often served in small quantities, partake of them but sparingly, and decline them when offered the second time.

2) Observe a strict sobriety; never drink of more than one kind of wine, and Partake of that sparingly.

3) The style of serving dinner is different at different houses; if there are many Servers, they will bring you your plate filled, and you must keep it. If you Have the care of a lady, see that she has what she desires, before you give your Own order to the waiter; but if there are but few servers, and the dishes are upon the table, you may with perfect propriety help those near you, from any dish within your reach.

4) If your host or hostess passes you a plate, keep it, especially if you have Chosen the food upon it, for others have also a choice, and by passing it, you May give your neighbor dishes distasteful to him, and take yourself those Which he would much prefer.

5) If in the leaves of your salad, or in a plate of fruit you find a worm or insect, Pass your plate to the waiter, without any comment, and he will bring you Another.

6) Be careful to avoid the extremes of gluttony or over daintiness at the table. To Eat enormously is disgusting; but if you eat too sparingly, your host may Think that you despise his fare.

7) Watch that the lady whom you escorted to the table is well helped. Lift
And change her plate for her, pass her bread, salt, and butter, give her orders To the waiter, and pay her every attention in your power.

8) Before taking your place at table, wait until your place is pointed out to
You, unless there are cards bearing the names of the guests upon the plates; In the latter case, take the place thus marked for you.

9) Put your napkin upon your lap, covering your knees. It is out of taste, and Looked upon as a vulgar habit to put your napkin up over your breast. (Who does that in the 21st century?)

10) Sit neither too near nor too far from the table. Never hitch up your coat sleeves Or wristbands as if you were going to wash your hands. Some men Do this habitually, but it is a sign of very bad breeding.

11) Never tip your chair, or lounge back in it during dinner.
All gesticulations are out of place, and in bad taste at the table. Avoid
Making them.

12) Converse in a low tone to your neighbor, yet not with any air of secrecy if others are engaged in tête à tête conversation; if however, the conversation Is general, avoid conversing tête à tête. Do not raise your voice too much; if You cannot make those at some distance from you hear you when speaking In a moderate tone, confine your remarks to those near you.

13) If you wish for a knife, plate, or anything from the side table, never address Those in attendance as “Waiter!” as you would at a hotel or restaurant, but Call one of them by name; if you cannot do this, make him a sign without Speaking.

14) Unless you are requested to do so, never select any particular part of a dish; But, if your host asks you what part you prefer, than please do so, as in this Case the incivility would consist in making your host choose as well as carve For you.

15) Never blow your soup if it is too hot, but wait until it cools. Never raise Your plate to your lips, but eat with your spoon.

16) Never touch either your knife or your fork until after you have finished Eating your soup. Leave your spoon in your soup plate that the server may Remove them both. Never take soup twice.

17) In changing your plate, or passing it during dinner, remove your knife
And fork, that the plate alone may be taken, but after you have finished your Dinner, cross the knife and fork on the plate that the server may take all Away, before bringing you clean ones for dessert.

18) Do not bite your bread from the roll or slice, nor cut it with your knife; Break off small pieces and put these in your mouth with your fingers.

19) At dinner do not put butter on your bread. Never dip a piece of bread into The gravy or preserves upon your plate and then bite it, but if you wish to Eat them together, break the bread into small pieces, and carry these to your Mouth with your fork. Using your fingers evinces a shocking want of good-breeding.

20) Never criticize any dish before you.

21) Never put bones, or the seeds of fruit upon the tablecloth. Put them upon The edge of your plate.

22) Never use your knife for any purpose but to cut your food. It is not meant To be put in your mouth. Your fork is intended to carry the food from your Plate to your mouth and no gentleman ever eats with his knife.

23) If the meat or fish upon your plate is too rare or too well-done, do not eat It; give for an excuse that you prefer some other dish before you; but never Tell your host that his cooking is uneatable.

24) Never speak when you have anything in your mouth. Never pile the food On your plate as if you were starving, but take a little at a time; the dishes Will not run away.

25) Never use your own knife and fork to help either yourself or others. There Is always one before the dish at every well-served table, and you should use That.

26) It is a good plan to accustom yourself to using your fork with the left hand, When eating, as you thus avoid the awkwardness of constantly passing the Fork from your left hand to your right, and back again, when cutting your Food and eating it.

27) Never put fruit or bon bon’s in your pocket to carry them from the table. Do not cut fruit with a steel knife. Use a silver one.

28) Never eat so fast as to hurry the others at the table, nor so slowly as to keep Them waiting.

29) If you do not take wine, never keep the bottle standing before you, but pass It on. If you do take it, pass it on as soon as you have filled your glass.

30) If you wish to remove a fish bone or fruit seed from your mouth, cover Your lips with your hand or napkin, so that others may not see you remove it. If you wish to use your handkerchief, and have not time to leave the table, Turn your head away, and as quickly as possible put the handkerchief in your Pocket again.

31) Always wipe your mouth before drinking, as nothing is more ill-bred than To grease your glass with your lips.

32) If you are invited to drink with a friend, and do not drink wine, bow, raise Your glass of water and drink with him.

33) Do not propose to take wine with your host; it is his privilege to invite you. Do not put your glass upside down on the table to signify that you do not Wish to drink anymore; it is sufficient to refuse firmly. Do not be persuaded To touch another drop of wine after your own prudence warns you that you Have taken enough.

34) Avoid any air of mystery when speaking to those next you; it is ill-bred And in excessively bad taste.

35) If you wish to speak of any one, or to any one at the table, call them by Name, but never point or make a signal when at table.

36) When taking coffee, never pour it into your saucer, but let it cool in the Cup, and drink from that.

37) Never leave the table till the mistress of the house gives the signal.

38) On leaving the table put your napkin on the table, but does not fold it.

39) Offer your arm to the lady whom you escorted to the table.

40) It is excessively rude to leave the house as soon as dinner is over. Respect To your hostess obliges you to stay in the living-room or parlor at least an hour.

41) If the ladies withdraw, leaving the gentlemen, after dinner, rise when they
Leave the table, and remain standing until they have left the room.

Follow these simple protocols of gentlemanly etiquette, and you will command the respect and awe of everyone present. Good Dining to All!

It is well known that most young men today; as well as older men have lost (or never had nor learned) the art on how to be a true gentleman, especially among Millennial’s who have been overly influenced by social media, movies and television shows depicting young men behaving very uncouth in words and deeds, and believing such things as being “cool”. The popular term “Chivalry is dead”, came about because young men just do not know have to behave in society toward others with respect and courtesy. Young women, as well as older one’s have forgotten what it means to be treated as a lady, and unfortunately, many young and older woman really don’t know how a true “Lady” is supposed to behave due to the same backward influences of popular culture and music and rely on walking about half dressed, or wearing clothes that convey that they are less than their worth.

Gentlemen! Being classy does not mean expensive cars, lots of money and expensive clothes. It means having manners, being polite, and respecting people, even if you don’t particularly like them. Good manners make a Gentlemen Classy!
How to behave like a gentleman:
1) Always avoid any rude or boisterous action, especially when in the presence of ladies. It is not necessary to be stiff, indolent, or sullenly silent, neither is perfect gravity always required, but if you jest around, let it be with quiet, gentlemanly wit, never depending upon clownish gestures for the effect of a story. Nothing marks the gentleman so soon and decidedly as quiet, refined ease of manner.
2) Never allow a lady to get a chair for herself, ring a bell, pick up purse or gloves she may have dropped, or, in short, perform any service for herself which you can perform for her, when you are in the room. By extending such courtesies to your mother, sisters, or other members of your family, they become habitual, and are thus more gracefully performed when out in public.
3) It is not necessary to tell all that you know; that would be mere folly; but what a man says must be what he believes himself, else he violates the first rule for a gentleman’s speech—Truth.
4) Cultivate tact! In society it will be an invaluable aid. Talent is something, but tact is everything. Talent is serious, sober, grave, and respectable; tact is all that and more too. It is not a sixth sense, but it is the life of all the five. It is the open eye, the quick ear, the judging taste, the keen smell, and the lively touch; it is the interpreter of all riddles—the over comer of all difficulties—the remover of all obstacles. It is useful in all places, and at all times; it is useful in solitude, for it shows a man his way into the world; it is useful in society, for it shows him his way through the world. Talent is power—tact is skill; talent is weight—tact is momentum; talent knows what to do—tact knows how to do it; talent makes a man respectable—tact will make him respected; talent is wealth—tact is ready money. For all the practical purposes of society tact carries against talent ten to one.

5) Habits of self-possession and self-control are the best foundation for the formation of gentlemanly manners. If you unite with this the constant intercourse with ladies and gentlemen of refinement and education, you will add to the dignity of perfect self command, the polished ease of polite society.
6) Avoid pride, too; it often miscalculates, and more often misconceives. The proud man places himself at a distance from other men; seen through that distance, others, perhaps, appear little to him; but he forgets that this very distance causes him also to appear little to others.
7) When you meet a lady at the foot of a flight of stairs, do not wait for her to ascend, but bow, and go up before her. In meeting a lady at the head of a flight of stairs, wait for her to precede you in the descent. However you may also let a lady ascend first and proceed up behind her. The logic being, to catch her should she trip or stumble backwards

8) Gentility is neither in birth, wealth, or fashion, but in the mind. A high sense of honor, a determination never to take a mean advantage of another, adherence to truth, delicacy and politeness towards those with whom we hold intercourse, are the essential characteristics of a gentleman.

9) Perhaps the true definition of a gentleman is this: “Whoever is open, loyal, and true; whoever is of humane and affable demeanor; whoever is honorable in himself, and in his judgment of others, and requires no law but his word to make him fulfill an engagement; such a man is a gentleman, be he in the highest or lowest rank of life, a man of elegant refinement and intellect, or the most unpolished tiller of the ground.”

10) Courteous and friendly conduct may, probably will, sometimes meet with an unworthy and ungrateful return; but the absence of gratitude and similar courtesy on the part of the receiver cannot destroy the self-approbation which recompenses the giver. We may scatter the seeds of courtesy and kindness around us at little expense. Some of them will inevitably fall on good ground, and grow up into benevolence in the minds of others, and all of them will bear the fruit of happiness in the bosom whence they spring. A kindly action always fixes itself on the heart of the truly thoughtful and polite man.

11) Learn to restrain anger. A man in a passion ceases to be a gentleman, and if you do not control your passions, rely upon it; they will one day control you. The intoxication of anger, like that of the grape, shows us to others, but hides us from ourselves, and we injure our own cause in the opinion of the world when we too passionately and eagerly defend it. Neither will all men be disposed to view our quarrels in the same light that we do; and a man’s blindness to his own defects will ever increase in proportion as he is angry with others, or pleased with him. An old English writer says:
“As a preventative of anger, banish all tale-bearers and slanderers from your conversation, for it is these blow the devil’s bellows to rouse up the flames of rage and fury, by first abusing your ears, and then your credulity, and after that steal away your patience, and all this, perhaps, for a lie. To prevent anger, be not too inquisitive into the affairs of others, or what people say of yourself, or into the mistakes of your friends, for this is going out to gather sticks to kindle a fire to burn your own house.”
12) Keep good company or none. You will lose your own self-respect, and habits of courtesy sooner and more effectually by intercourse with low company, than in any other manner; while, in good company, these virtues will be cultivated and become habitual.

13) Be ready to apologize when you have committed a fault which gives offence. Better, far better, to retain a friend by a frank, courteous apology for offence given, than to make an enemy by obstinately denying or persisting in the fault.

14) An apology made to you must be accepted. No matter how great the offence, a gentleman cannot keep his anger after an apology has been made, and thus, amongst truly well-bred men, an apology is always accepted.

15) Have you a sister? Then love and cherish her with all that pure and holy friendship which renders a brother so worthy and noble.
16) Love yourself